I was researching the statistics earlier as I am making awareness cards to put out into the community, and I came across some pretty interesting statistics that I believe many people are unaware of. The main one being that rape is the most underreported crime in the world. I am sure that is due to people being afraid of not being believed... like the little girl that tried to report the man that molested and raped me for over a year. Her mother didn't believe her and refused to press charges. That always haunts me, because if they had believed that little girl she could have saved me. It would have been easier for her to heal as well. Instead, she was assaulted and then called a liar. I also assume a lot of the cases that go unreported are due to the survivor feeling guilt or shame that it happened. A lot of the stats that I am quoting are from www.rainn.org. Such as 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have been the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime in the US. Also, people ages 12-34 are at higher risk for sexual assaults. They also state that as of 1998, it is estimated that 17.7 million American women and 2.78 million men have experienced sexual assault. And even though the numbers lean towards women being victimized more than men, it still stands true that 1 out of every 10 rape victims are in fact males. I know in a previous blog I mentioned that I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, and statistics show that the leading cause of PTSD in women is due to sexual assault. According to www.charliehealth.com , eight out of ten victims personally knew their rapists. This is considered "acquaintance rape." It is much more common for someone well known i.e., a family member, a family friend, an ex-partner etc. For me, it was my best friends dad, who was also my dad's best friend. He had built so much trust up with me that I let my guard down and the minute he saw the opportunity he dove right on it. I was actually talking some to my dad about that whole situation, and I told him that I had only one question for him and then I would drop it because I know he has always hated talking about it. The one question I asked was why it bothered him so much to talk about it. Today is the first time my father has ever given me a full and acceptable response to that question. He said, "It hurt me to know you went through that. And while I understand you caught the worst part of the pain from the situation it didn't change the fact that it crushed me to know that I allowed that to happen to you. I should have been more observant and made you feel more comfortable to come to me with something like that. But I failed. I didn't do a good job letting you know that, or you wouldn't have gone through it for a year before saying something. And the porn video that he made you watch; was on that I had sold to him. The whole thing really messed with my head and that is why I never had friends over after that." It helped me to hear a sincere and honest answer for a change. I hugged him and told him that it was absolutely not his fault one bit. He had no way of knowing. I thanked him for finally allowing me to see the softer side of him rather than shutting me down as soon as I mentioned it like he normally does. I think maybe he needed to get that off his chest almost as bad as I needed to hear it. The old saying is that time heals everything, I am not sure "heal" is the word I would use.... but it definitely does have its way of lessening the blows from the past. XOXO - Feisty Mommy
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