Food For Thought

This has been weighing on my heart for a while now. There are so many sexual assault awareness/support groups on social media, and I love that. What I do not love is that when men that join the groups are immediately discredited and shamed and all the women in the group begin to shame them and tell them they do not belong and it "makes them uncomfortable." What makes me uncomfortable is that rape is the most underreported crime. Women claim they are afraid they will not be believed or that they will be shamed for coming forward... but then there are men that are also victims/survivors, and those same women do the exact same thing to them. There cannot be a double standard. I have sons and daughters and if either of them experienced sexual abuse in any way form or fashion I would handle both situations with the exact same amount of concern and diligence. Boys are more at risk and underreport more frequently because society has deemed boys and men "tough." Society has taught boys that they are not supposed to be vulnerable or show weakness and therefore when a little boy gets into a tough situation, they are supposed to suck it up and move on. Boys are an easier target because of this. I have watched documentaries where men state they were raped or molested by older women or men and I have heard people verbally ask, "How can a man be raped or molested? Obviously, they like it because they have to get aroused for their manhood has to get hard for anything to happen." First of all, an erection is all about blood flow. An erection can happen for many reasons, and it does not mean they are enjoying whatever is stimulating the blood flow. Second of all, some forms of sexual assault don't even involve the penis. There is anal rape, oral rape and other things. It disgusts me and makes me feel so ashamed of the double standards society has when it comes to sexual assault on men and women. At no point should ANY victim be shamed for coming forward, needing support or speaking out. Look at the Menedez brothers. They both claimed they were sexually abused by their father. The older brother admitted to molesting and "playing" with his little brother the same way his dad did him. That is also a common issue with children that have been molested or raped. They choose to put other kids their own age through it as well for reasons unknown. Maybe they think it's supposed to be normal, maybe they think doing it to someone else will normalize it, maybe it's how they experiment to try to figure out why the person doing it to them and what that side of it feels like. Who knows, children's minds process everything so much differently. I will end this with something I have quoted many times.... 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have been the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes. Pedophiles and predators are opportunistic. They don't discriminate. They find easy targets and they pursue them because they are cowards. They watch and select the children with the low self-esteem. They watch and look for the kids with inattentive parents. They look for the shy, quiet kids that they feel like will be the most likely to keep the "secret." I refuse to feed into putting a target on our boys' backs because in 2024, we should know better. We should be past the ignorance. So, in your support groups, if you really want to do good and use your platform to help people.... make it a safe space for ALL survivors. Pedophiles and predators don't discriminate, the support groups and those that join to have a community that understands what they have been through damn sure shouldn't discriminate either. Protect your sons' and your daughters'. Equally. 

-Feisty Mommy